Safe, sane and consensual

We know, there are a zillion articles on this on the web, but just in case, here is our version, as we understand and use it.

 

In August 17, 1983 the Board of Directors of the "Gay-Male-S/M Activists" association approved the organization’s "statement of identity and purpose" , which began saying "GMSMA is a not-for-profit organization of gay males in the New York City area who are seriously interested in safe, sane, and consensual S/M". The author of that first sentence was who calls himself “slave david stein”. The sentence was used in all the brochures and publications of the GMSMA, and was soon adopted as the slogan of BDSM.

As when playing we tie our partners and beat and humiliate them, the outsiders can see it as abuse. The difference between our games and real life violence is that, for being games, they should be "sane, safe and consensual".
 

Actually, this is hardly something new, because it should apply to every human relationship, sexual or not, and in practice most people act this way in its normal life, but we will refresh the concepts anyway.

 

• Safe means that all participants have evaluated the risk of what they plan to do and find it acceptable, that the equipment to be used is in good condition and that they know how to use it (as in any sport).

 

• Sane, that all participants can understand the difference between fantasy and reality, and act accordingly. (It means that they are not insane, under the influence of alcohol or drugs or are somehow impaired to make decisions).

 

Actually, in our lives we extend this concept adding that the participants lives will not be at risk, and nobody will be hurt as severely as to require professional aid, or to leave permanent marks. (You never know what you will decide in the future, and showing a back with whip scars could not be the right thing).

 

• Consensual, that, being all participants aware of what is going to happen, accept freely to participate. It also means that the consent can be retired at any time during the session by any of the participants.

 

The game cannot be considered consensual if played with somebody that is not able to consent, as minors or mentally handicapped persons, or if consent is given by somebody whose reason is impaired for any cause, as for being under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

 

For the game to be actually a game, the participants should agree in a safe word to be used by the bottom to retire their consent if they feel it convenient. The top must stop playing immediately if the bottom uses the safe word.

 

Outside of the general definition, what is safe and sane depends on personal viewpoints. There are people that do things, and not only on BDSM, but also in other areas, that are not safe or sane on our view (sometimes call them "extreme sports" and you can see them on TV).

 

What consensual is does not accept any kind of discussion.

 

Consent is the actual difference between a BDSM session and abuse, as consent is the difference between lovemaking and rape.

 

Published: 01/10/03

Rev: 06/06/03; 08/22/03; 02/03/05