Many of our gentle visitors write us, we answer all letters, with some we begin corresponding, and with a few we have become friends.
In our discussions, one of these virtual friends, Ann, illustrated a point in one of our D/s arguments with an intriguing quote of a paragraph of some “Owner’s Manual”.
Being naturally curious, we asked about it, and after some hesitation, she sent us a booklet she had written for her dominant, expressing her feelings about submission, its meaning and how the submissive expects a good dominant to behave.
It was just a friend’s confidence, but we’re not only her virtual friends, we have a site on BDSM. The material was very good, well thought and full of sensitivity and insight and we wanted to share it with our visitors, thinking it would be useful for many. Only she didn’t want to publish it. (Some friend. She gives us pretty good material and asks us not to publish it. “Off the record”, as journalists say).
We expressed our regret, but of course, our visitors’ feelings (especially when close to us) are more important than publishing material. We continued corresponding, and the Manual appeared tantalizingly every now and then in the letters.
Finally, after a long time, (and after many subtle hints, a little pressure and everything short of straight blackmail from us) she agreed to let us share it with our visitors. We are sure that it is going to be good reading and thought material for all of you, and useful for many. For the subs, for knowing what other sub thinks. For the doms, for a light on the other's feelings.
If you believe the pet’s metaphor is not appropriate for you, who even when submissive, are nobody's pet, think of it as a term of endearment, not intended for debasement. A pet is fun, cherished and cared for. It is not an animal, but a friend (or even a member of the family) for his owner.
And Ann says:
"The Owner's Manual started off as a light-hearted attempt to convey my submissive ideas and needs to my beloved partner. I thought it might take a week or two to write. Over the following several months, my little project evolved into a soul-searching journey. It was I, even more than my partner, who needed to discover and accept what submissiveness means to me.
When I wrote the Manual, I never imagined it would be read by anyone else. After much stalling, pondering, dawdling and vacillating I have now given my full permission for Agony & Ecstasy to share it with you, their gentle visitors. May it help you on your journey. Enjoy the ride!"
And we are giving you, not only the text, but also a copy of the charming original in PDF format. Feel free to print it as a present to your Dom, if you think that it will help your relationship (but don’t steal it. She deserves the credit for her work, and we deserve the exclusivity as original publishers.)
Enjoy it.
Published: 08/31/05
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