You and Your Pet

 

The bond between a responsible, caring owner and a happy, thriving, devoted pet is a deep and lasting one, and can provide years of pleasure and satisfaction to pet and owner alike.

If you are reading this, chances are you have a strong interest in pet ownership. You may be thinking of adopting a pet, and wish to know what factors to consider in choosing a pet that meets your needs. Ideally, the prospective pet owner begins his journey with an honest look into his own needs, desires, and ability to provide care.

On the other hand, sometimes life surprises you with a pet – a gift - one you did not plan or prepare for.  It may never have occurred to you that you might like to own a pet. Perhaps you have known someone a long time but her pet-like qualities have only now begun to emerge.

Your pet has prepared this manual because she values the unique relationship we share. She hopes that the thoughts and ideas presented here will provide insight and foster further discussion, exploration, and enjoyment.

Trust

 

Trust is the foundation of every Owner/pet relationship and is experienced on many levels.

 

 

Trust to maintain safety

First and foremost, your pet needs to trust that you will keep her safe from lasting physical and/or emotional harm. She needs to trust your intentions: that you treasure her and do not wish to harm her. She also needs to trust your competence: that you will not harm her through carelessness or ignorance.

Trust to maintain discipline

Along with trusting you to keep her safe, your pet needs to trust that you will assume responsibility for maintaining and enforcing discipline. In a power exchange relationship – whether the exchange is for an hour or a lifetime - your pet’s gift to you is to surrender control and serve you. Your gift to her is to accept control and free her. Any lapse in care, training, or discipline is a devaluation of her and of your responsibility as Owner. You have a right to expect appropriate behavior and a corresponding responsibility to deal with inappropriate behavior. For more on this topic, refer to the Discipline section later in this manual.

 

Trust as an emotional need

Your pet’s submissiveness is driven by several emotional needs: the need to please, the need to serve, the need to relinquish control. Perhaps less obvious is the need to trust. You pet wants to trust someone; she tests this by surrendering control; you enable her to experience that surrender and trust in a very concrete way when you administer physical or psychological discomfort; you guide her through the experience unharmed; she experiences deep pleasure; you have satisfied her need to trust.

And perhaps you, as Owner, have a corresponding need to be trusted, to have someone believe in your strength and competence, which is satisfied when your pet gives you control over her body and mind.

Training Your Pet

 

One of the great good fortunes and rewards of owning your pet is the opportunity to train her to your tastes. With proper training, your pet can learn to please you in her dress, speech, manners, and erotic attentions. You will be able to indulge virtually any sexual fantasy.

The process of training nurtures your relationship on many levels. As the Owner accepts responsibility for shaping his pet’s care, training, and discipline, he shows that he respects and treasures her submission. And in return, he earns his pet’s respect and gratitude.

Training your pet is at times fun and often challenging. Through training, the D/s dynamic can grow beyond immediate “kinky sex” foreplay to a deeper, more satisfying psycho-emotional level.
 

Expectations

You must clearly communicate to your pet your expectations for her behavior. You will certainly wish to specify how she is to address you (Sir, Master, your first name). Is she to keep her eyes lowered or fixed on yours? Remain on hands and knees unless otherwise instructed? Must she obey all directives promptly and without complaint? Ask permission before taking action?

You may wish to review your expectations with your pet at the beginning of a scene. This can evolve into a comforting and arousing ritual for you and your pet. For example, you might have your pet kneeling at your feet, eyes focused on yours, while you clearly state what is expected, then have her repeat back to you. In addition to effectively setting the mood and allowing pet and Owner to relax into their roles, this process ensures that your pet cannot excuse any subsequent misbehavior on the grounds that she didn’t know any better.

After your pet has had time to learn your expectations, you may wish to have her relate them to you without your first reviewing them. With consistent training your pet will eventually internalize and anticipate your expectations, although you may want to keep up some ritual review from time to time.

Of course, as owner, it is your prerogative to change the rules at any time. You may wish to challenge your pet and push her limits or just explore new interactions that interest you.

 

 

Published: 08/31/05